Ok, so it's just a few years old, but it's STILL very applicable to me and a lot of the girls that I consider to be close friends.
Ladies and gentlepeople, I am about to attempt to go where no one has gone before.
Brace yourselves as together we unravel:
THE BRO-ZONE.*insert dramatic cymbal crashes here*
What is the bro-zone? you might be asking.
Many of you have probably heard of the "friend zone"
But generally, this is used in the context of GIRLS friend-zoning BOYS.
Which is totally sexist and not even always the case.
Let me introduce you.
Tonight I will be addressing the bro-zone from the perspective of an apartment girlfriend (are you still with me?)
Bear with me as I give you a summary of how a girl with one guy-friend of no romantic interest has escalated over the years to suddenly becoming an apartment girlfriend -- with all of the jealousies that go with it.
To protect the innocent, I shall change everyone's names (which may not be much of a protection since the majority of these are how I refer to them anyway...):
Meet the 1st real guy friend I had: Cock-tail Shrimp.
He and I were fast friends in 6th grade as we waited in line for instrument trials and he began screaming about how much he loves cheese. What followed was a beautiful friendship of band, theater, inside jokes, doodle pages, made-up songs, gripping about class, and no interest.
Then I moved.
Enter Kacy's Angels:
Three guys that have taught me SO much. They were a foundation for the person that I am now and that I knew always had my back. They would let me tell it to them straight, but we knew we always had each other's best interests at heart.
Interest levels though?
Chester: Dating a girl when we met and then interested in my best friend when we actually became friends. Only date he took me on was when his girlfriend flew out of town the week before a dance. #BROZONE
Frederick: Dating my best friend when we became friends. I made him pretend to be mute during one of our early conversations. #BROZONE.
Stacy: We were both interested in other people when we became friends. FRIEND/BROZONE
Then there's Carlolos. one of my senior year bffs.
I was dating his best friend, he was dating a girl in theater, and he told me that my arms were hairier than his and he hoped I got fat while he was on his mission. #BROZONE
ALSO, I would like to mention that of the 4 above mentioned boys I'm still best friends with them all and: 1 is on a mission still, 1 is dating someone, 1 is engaged, and 1 is married.
Somehow, I managed to raise these boys to have successful relationships.... and I'm still stuck in the BROZONE.
How did that happen?
The rest of high school and college has not been too different.
Boys love to tell me about the girls they dig and we go on lots of crazy adventures and in the end they tell me what a great friend I am.
The most recent label put on it is "apartment girlfriend."
It's pretty advertised too.
The guys that I'm especially good friends with love to parade it and claim any boy will have to fight all 4 of them to get to me.
I am 1 of 2 apartment girlfriends.
It's perks include:
- food
- cuddling offers that are always jokes
- road trips
- talking
- not talking
- being driven places
- lots of laughs
- someone listening
- someone interrupting
- getting to listen to an analysis of that day's bodily functions
- lots of teasing
- spiritual discussions
- music jam-outs
- but most importantly really good friends that feel almost like family (:
So all in all, it's really not a bad thing..........
Or is it?
No. It's not.
I just have to find someone that really is willing to put up with me and my 20 best guy friends. (;
#reasonwhyimstillsingle
